Vampire: New Orleans Requiem

Ch..Ch..Ch.. Changes!

2009-03-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

Oh, get ready boys! Get out out those tissues. The Hound has passed down His Highness' decree. Miss Becky Lynn Adler must change her hot little looks into something not so "Becky-ish", or risk the Big M. And her Requiem. What a shame. No, really. I mean it. Can't you tell when I'm being serious?? I've taken the opportunity here to do a little before and after, for your viewing pleasure...

Hot Becky

The All New 'Not Becky'

Enjoy Princess! See ya after surgery. Hope they give you anesthesia. BTW, don't leave your little mutt with me again when I have meetings unless you want her life ended prematurely. ;-)

Tina

Bored!!!

2009-03-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

So I’m locked up in this hotel room and I can’t leave! I'm so bored!!! The police are following me everywhere I go! What trouble I’m in! It never seems to stop! So let me start from the beginning….

After Vidal blew up at me, I decided to take his job very seriously! My main priority was to find Charlie Sheldon. THis was the guy that broke teh masquerade and we think killed Edward! Then this new Sanctified showed up, Nicolo. He was here for a whole day and did absolutely nothing but stir up my new follower, Caitlyn. She went all goo goo eyes for this guy and wanted to drink his vitae. I told her what it would do, I told her no, I told him no, but who knows if she listened. She never seems to!

Anyway….so Alexander calls me and asks if I know anything about some “visitors” coming from out of town for any reason. Well crap! Of course I do, but I didn’t know what to say! They were here to help with Tina’s blood addiction and I didn’t want that to get messed up. But I certainly didn’t want to be punished in front of the whole Lancea Sanctum like Vidal threatened. So I answered his question VERY carefully. “Yes. There are some people coming from Italy for Pearl. They are to help Tina who is in torpor.” I was so nervous that he was going to ask me why she was in torpor. Thank god he didn’t! He asked me how I knew this and I told him that Darius, Pearl’s little minion told me. It was a close one, but I think I’m off the hook!

So the rest of the gang decides to set up this fake chess tournament that they knew Gravwa could not resist. He was a chess fanatic. Notice the word “was”.

Yes, he is no longer with us. Thanks to me I might add! And Caitlyn I guess. Louis decided he wanted to be his lazy ass self and do something else. Tina of course is still in her blood torpor thing. Jack disappears into nowhere land and Nicolo vanishes! So it leaves me and new girl! What the heck man! Well…Vidal ordered me to take care of it, so I was. We headed to the meeting and of course that little shit Charlie has to go on a rampage! He notices Caitlyn and his beast takes over. He goes ape shit on her ass. I have to admit she took it pretty well. She can’t hit a thing, but she was a good runner. She also listened to my directions. Maybe she is learning?

Well, I pull my claws out and rip this guy to shreds. I tried not to kill him, but I had to. He almost killed Caitlyn! Of course this whole thing happens in front of like 100 kine and we are seen driving this body (what was leftof it) out of there. THis included leaving my poor puppy Versache out in the cold. We never did find her! ::Sniff:: At least we brought him back to Vidal. Thank God I’m on his good side now!

Of course it can’t be that easy! I’m recognized all over the place and I get brought into the police station for questioning. Can you believe it! The one thing I can’t handle, cops! But I was able to control myself. I made some calls and Vidal and Alexander seemed to take care of the problem for now. At least I’m out of there.

So, like I said before…I am on constant watch. Can’t go home and can’t be out much. Plus all I have to eat is the nasty room service that Alexander sends me! I feel like I'm ordering a blood hooker....I guess I kinda am. EWWWW!!! So I am sitting here waiting for time to go by. God I'm bored! At least I have mass on Sunday. Can’t get into trouble for going there.

XOXO,

These malcontents....

2009-02-12T13:36:00.000-08:00

Oh my GOD, pretty princess is about the most annoying gaurdian ever. Anyway, I think Louis is smarter than he lets on, I'll have to be careful around him, he offered to let me drink from him, but then upon more information I find out that it is NOT good to drink from other vamps, well, good in a naughty sense but not in the keeping-your-sanity sense. Now why would Callidus Louis ('clever' for all you idiots) want to let me do that? Wicked wicked boy. PP is still simpering about the Prince being mad at her, I could barf every time she talks about it. However, a fascinating development is the arrival of Signoro Nicolo, its too bad he'll only be here for a day. Who knew that he's also apart of the crackbox Lancea Sanctum lunatics, I would never have guessed. I think this is what normal people call swooning. I am going feeding with him, and he said I can try drinking from him since he will be leaving, actually, I mentioned it and he proceeded to call me mischevious. God. I get all flustered when he calls me mischevious, I need a sedative. As for progress on my item I think I am going to ask Louis if his computers are powerful enough to break codes, this is dangerous as he is terribly smart, I will have to be very very careful and dole out only small portions for him to figure out, lest something get slipped that I dont want to. I am also now jonesing for a Ghoul. Apparently they are a walking supermarket that worships the ground on which you walk, sounds like my kind of guy *beam!*.

Microsoft Outlook Schedule Entry: 5-13-09

2009-02-10T21:27:00.000-08:00

-Meeting with the boys

*I really need to play this one up, I need them on board, this could be big!*
-Recruit

*He has already shown his worth and devotion, it is time for the
next step if he is ready*

-Schedule meeting with Jose

*His links could be invaluable, If I get this right it'll all
come true*

-Pick up sparkly

*I'll catch hell from the coin...but I know she will go for
it, Shes going to love this!*

-Check in on the foreigner

*He could be of use if the time was right*

-Keep an eye on the new one

*Her motives are flowered, something is not quite
right. I see right through that naive cloak of bullshit, its no coincidence that she fell into our lap's. However, if all goes well she could be quite useful*

-Place a withdrawal at the bank

*it is still not clear what happened, but im pretty sure this qualifies*

-Look into feeding the beast

*The potential benefits there may outweigh the risks, I may
have to sit on this one*

-Check in on Tina

*She sure has been breathing heavily recently, hopefully this sleep will leave her rejuvenated. I hope everything works out.*

(Encrypt Code: hrref=sourcecode/encryption.shtml"target="_top">)

(Louis Maddox: Save File: 1:06 AM; 05-13-09)

What troubles...

2009-02-09T17:36:00.000-08:00

So....my unlife has definitely taken a turn. As I lay here contemplating what to do with my troubles, I await a phone call from my newly appointed ball and chain.

It all started with my visit to Mr. Matheson. Vidal got extremely angry with me. Not only was he mad that I wasn't running out to immediately find the man for whom he had sent us on a Blood Hunt for, but also because I went to visit his mortal enemy. Neither one of them have shared the reason why they hate each other so, but it is no concern of mine. However, I do feel quite torn between the man I love and the man I feel I must follow in faith. Though his recent outburst has got my wheels turning. Not only did he yell at me, but he threatened me! Told me that he would shame me in front of all to see. How could anyone who care for me the way he does, do such a horrible thing! Then after that, he meets the neonate that I bring to him. I, a good Lancea Sanctum girl, was doing my job and bringing him new kine. She too had no idea who her sire was and had been wondering around for months getting extremely bad advice from rogue vampires. So instead of thanking me or showing any sort of happiness, he blows up and throws a pew across the church. I could never had believed a monster such as that lived inside him. He was so upset that there were more neonates that he knew nothing about and then proclaimed that I be her new mentor! Me! I now have this neonate, Kaitlin, following me around everywhere. She refuses to listen, then gets herself stuck and needing help. Then of course I get the crying call to help her. But what can I do? Vidal is forcing this on me! I had Alexander threaten her a bit, which I can definitely count on him to come through on if needed, but still! She better be a fast learner!

Not only that, but Tina is in Torpor! The other night I am the only one to notice that she is nowhere to be found. Of course I freak out and call everyone I know to help me find her, including Pearl. We race all over town with only minutes until daylight. Peter, Tina's thrall, and I find her in her car in torpor. Of course I call Pearl's man and tell him where she is. He and his men grab Peter and her and drive off. I even have to sleep in some terrible smelling dirt, just so I can survive! When I wake up, I call Pearl to find out what has happened and she won't even answer my calls! The nerve of that vampire! I find and save her beloved Tina, and she doesn't even have the decency to call me back! One of her ghouls goes on to tell me that she is keeping her in torpor until she can find some Italian dirt to come and break her blood addiction with Thebian Sorcery! But of course she has no idea when they are coming! Now I definitely can't stand Invictus! She is the most rude vampire I have ever met AND she has Lancea Sanctum traitors in her covenant! They should be burned! As soon as they are done helping Tina, I will make sure that Vidal punishes them! There is NO tolerance for traitors who sell our Lancea Sanctum secrets!

On top of all this....I have my lovely mortal mother who is a pain in my side! She has freaked out on me and has threatened to ruin our charity ball. It won't be long until she cuts off my funding. She will need to be taken care of as soon as she is home from her vacation. If she doesn't come home soon, I might just have to get some help from Vidal and wash my hands of her. It would be much easier.

Oh heavens...my phone is ringing once again. I don't know what I am going to do with this girl! All I know is that my main priority now consists of finding this David Gravwa vampire, the vampire who broke the most important rule of the Requiem, and return him to my Prince. He WILL pay!

XOXO,

Who to trust?

2009-02-06T14:07:00.001-08:00

What I've learned is vast and deep

But none I've met can secrets keep,

Wicked and vile these Kindred are

Trust them? Bah, I can't throw them that far.

No one to turn to I feel so alone

Come on you fuckers throw me a bone!

One is a princess a perfect sweet nark

Wait until I corner her in the dark.

The other a swindler a chauvenist pain,

But full of information so he may remain.

One is asleep and has a short fuse

Her temper is something I will not abuse.

Who can I turn to when I need help?

Apparently I can only depend on myself.

I'll just ignore them and do what I want

How hard can it be, they live in this haunt.

My wits and intelligence must be far greater

They're just playing the role of the simpleton Hater.

Time Marches On

2009-02-06T13:54:00.000-08:00

The pain is overwhelming, yet it doesn't exist at all. As if I float on a plane of darkness,wedged tightly between the world of here and nowhere. I try to focus, try so hard to focus, but my uncooperative body swims in pain. It's as if every vein and artery have been flayed open by scalpels – done by the hand of a most practiced physician. Every incision screams as if doused with salt and alcohol time and time again. There is no relief.

I wonder dully if this is Hell.

To add to my misery, my subconscious seems to pick up bits and pieces of words, spoken or otherwise, and twists them into nightmares. I pick out "torpor", "cleansing", "Italian", "ritual" and "sorcery", and my mind weaves them together in a torment of lurid, frightful imagery that I cannot escape from. The dreams are on a continuous loop and I cannot shut the machine off.

If only I could scream.

Ahem.

2009-02-04T15:54:00.000-08:00

Vampires at night elusive and dark

Unless they seem to have a nark

Calling up the prince's right hand man

To admonish and ream, threaten and damn

Warning you to be a good girl

When your wings want to unfurl

What will you do when will you break?

When an italian Rossi your thirst does slake....

Wax poetic...

2009-02-04T15:50:00.001-08:00

When you're asleep in torpor deep,
Lots of secrets you can keep,
No point of vitae can you partake,
And so your thirst will never slake.
What will happen when you wake?
Will demons off your back you shake?

No one knows but many care
Of when you wake and how you fair,
So ponder this while still abed,
The nightmares twisting in your head.

Sometime soon you shall revive
And we shall see who stays alive.

You have reached...

2009-02-01T16:58:00.000-08:00

...the voice mail of Tina Baker. She can't come to the phone right now because she's in TORPOR. Please leave a brief message and she'll be sure to return your call in 2 months time when she can drag her sorry ass out of TORPOR. Or possibly sooner if she's brought out by her regnant to receive a cleansing from the Italian "friends".

Have a nice day.

More Propaganda

2009-01-29T13:16:00.000-08:00

Ha ha! I finally found something Tina can do from "Confinement": she can write Torpor Propaganda against the Spaniard to be anonymously distributed in all the clubs and bars all over the City. Just so He knows someone is thinking about him. How sweet is that? :-)

The City slips through Your careless grasp,
Your power in question, Your reason in lapse.

Criminals, Hunters and Diablerists appear,
Addicts and Kindred who spread disease draw near.

Your vassals desert You, Your officers break faith,
Your Kingdom in ruin, it's almost too late.

There comes a day where Princes grow wicked,
tired and overwhelmed and burdened and sickened.

Lay down Your sword, go find Your bed,
dismiss Your faithful, lay down Your head.

Only Torpor can bring You peace from this pain.
Save Yourself from ruin. Save us from the same.

Poison Pen

2009-01-29T13:12:00.000-08:00

Now we lay him down to sleep

The Spanish Prince in Torpor deep

Drive through his heart a wooden stake

and cheat the Lord, his soul he'd take

Nap Time

2009-01-27T10:45:00.000-08:00

"Does this mean the Spaniard and his pleasure-loving whore of a Sheriff are becoming too weak to handle their own City? Nap time for the Prince might be just around the corner..."

It’s half past twelve: time to heed this rhyme
Rest your head for sleepy time

You had many centuries to play and laugh
You got all dirty and had a bath

Three rubber duckies float in the tub
You start singing “rub a dub dub”

Out you come and towel dry
We say it's nap time, you almost cry

The shades are pulled, you sulk to bed
Your eyes are sleepy from the tomes you've read

Your haven secured, your eyes soon close
Your breathing gets heavy and you start to doze

The stake procured, wooden and thin
When driven clean through your slumber begins

Saint or Demon? It matters not.
You'll bother us no more while in Torpor you rot

(Queen of Treason – Muwa ha ha ha ha!)

Lextalionis

2009-01-26T18:38:00.000-08:00

Lextalionis: the ancient Kindred tradition of justice where those who violate the laws of the domain must die, and all Kindred within the domain can be called upon to carrying out the sentence.

This is the law that allows a Prince to call a blood hunt; the act of tracking down an alleged criminal for the purpose of justice. The Prince urges each and every member of his populace to participate in the hunt and they are given permission to either bring the quarry back to the Prince's court, or bring him final death where they find him.

If Kindred choose not to participate in the hunt, they won't necessarily be punished, but they certainly can lose status if they refuse the call. If they are caught aiding and abetting the subject of the blood hunt, however, this can result in banishment or final death by execution, at the Prince's pleasure.

Yesterday, at the Elysium, Prince Vidal called for a blood hunt on David Gravois, a neonate member of the Sanctified. While none of our coterie have ever heard of him, we were strongly encouraged to take a key role in the hunt due to Gravois' alleged crimes. He most likely has ties to the vampire-hunters that have taken and staked Edward, and Gravois contacted Savoi and threatened to execute Edward in Savoi's presence. So the general consensus, for what it's worth, is we'll have more info and better luck hunting and finding Mr. Gravois than others might.

Since this is the first hunt I've ever been privy to, and since I don't have a clue where to start, I decided do some research. I was fascinated to find some of the "alternative" methods. Who knows how successful they are, but I'm certainly willing to give these a shot!

Have local law enforcement issue an APB
Have local airports put him on a "no fly" list
Freeze his financial accounts
Use the Amber Alert system (utilizing radio and electronic roadside messages)
Contract with church-sponsored vampire-hunters (apparently a very risky move)

I understand that most hunts end in a high percentage of the criminals being tracked and slain, or occasionally escaping the city (which is usually a death sentence in itself), but either way the hunt is almost always over in a few nights. So we should know the outcome one way or another very shortly.

The other fact I found fascinating is Princes usually only call for blood hunts when their own agents are unable to handle the capture and execution of the criminal on their own. Does this mean the Spaniard and his pleasure-loving whore of a Sheriff are becoming too weak to handle their own city? Nap time for the Prince might be just around the corner...

So, He's a Pedophile???

2009-01-26T17:51:00.000-08:00

x
Hey now.... Let's just take it easy on all this "credit where credit is due" stuff, Becky Lynn. I'd prefer to believe this was all your maniacal mind at work. Whooo boy! For as quiet as you were on that ride home, I couldn't have ever guessed all THAT happened in the span of the hour and half you were alone with that head-case. Has he really been following you around for years while you were human? While you were 17 and younger?? So that massively old, über creepoid was stalking an under aged girl? Nice. Not only a predator, but a pedophile.

Frankly, can we just keep my part of any of this debacle on the down-low? I'm starting to have daymares of this getting back to the Prince:

"Dateline, New Orleans; Kindred Tina Baker orchestrates unusual love affair between banished pedophile and the Prince's most beloved pet. When asked to comment, A. Vidal swore ultimate revenge on matchmaker."

Considering his trigger-finger for setting off blood hunts as of late, I'd prefer my name not show up at the top of Donnaven's list. If you can understand where I'm coming from. It might look bad on my Invictus Quarterly Review.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, my friend, but your night of reckoning may still be coming. When I told Alex I was sick with worry over you and this dangerous trip, I all but told him you were completely in love with Vidal. I thought I was helping; getting the truth out in the open so you two could move forward with it and handle it one way or the other. And Vidal "was" the one who called Pearl directly ordering us to escort you home. So I'm almost positive the Spaniard is going to expect to hear an explanation as to why his pet, who is supposedly devoted to him and has such strong feelings for him, would blatantly disregard his wishes and visit a Kindred he banished from his realm...

Might want to start thinking about excuses. The Invictus handbook for applicants has a very handy section on situations such as these. It's called "Cover Your Ass".

Let me know if you want me to accompany you. I do feel partially responsible for the hole you're in. But please, let's keep the fanfare on how I helped you figure all this out, down to a minimum.

Despite his incredible creepiness, I am somewhat happy you seem to have found a Kindred soul in Matheson. But be forewarned: I'll be looking to tempt you with someone else. IMO, he's just not good enough for you. But then, no one will ever be.

Finding Myself

2009-01-26T16:31:00.000-08:00

Yes, once again my love life has taken a mighty turn. I guess you could say that Tina knew more than I could ever give her credit for.

So I decided that I was just sick and tired of waiting for Vidal to return my love. I don't know what his problem is. I mean, I can tell he wants me. It takes all his restraint to stop himself from feeding from me when offered. I think he is scared of loving too much and losing himself. Well, I decided I needed to rile him up a bit. What a better way than visiting my dear beloved sire, who happens to be his worst enemy! Vidal also knows that I am not only one drink away from becoming addicted, but one away from being blood bonded to Mr. Matheson. He is always on my thoughts. I also have been trying to find out a little more on my blood lineage. Because Mr. Matheson is so old, nobody knows anything about it but him. So what better reason to go for a visit. I decided to go for a drive.

I let Alexander (Vidal's right hand man) know where I was going, just in case Matheson tried something sneaky. I also told Tina, who thought it was a fantastic idea at the time. Then...she thought about it a little more and had second thoughts. She called Alexander with her worries and made a HUGE deal out of it. Like I am not capable of handling myself! It's sweet and all, but please... have you seen my claws! Anyway, I take off. Ohhhh how my plan succeeds! However, I got a little more than I was planning for.

Vidal sends a message to Pearl demanding that she send her pets Louis and Tina after me to make sure I am safely returned home. He doesn't want to lose me after all. However, I think he might be a little too late.

I arrive and Matheson's house and am greeted by the gentleman that I once knew and loved. He was as regal and handsome as ever! I find that not only has he kept his promise to me that he would better the living standards of his cattle, but he is now paying them as well. Then he makes his move! Asking me if I need sustenance over and over again. Then he goes and slits his wrist letting his enthralling vitae drip into his glass. This is where I needed to make a choice.

Earlier, Tina and I had a conversation about her bond to Pearl. She asked me if I wanted true love, or just something made up and forced upon me for life. This popped into my head at that very moment. She was right! I wanted true love, not some artificial love that I could choose never to leave. I didn't want one sided love from Matheson, Vidal, or anyone else for that matter! I resisted, even though that longing in his eyes made me hesitate in my words. He was very upset and threw the glass across the room. I don't blame him. He misses me and wants me to stay with him. Then I could tell where his true feelings lay. He truly did love me. I asked him not to ask me of that again, and he stopped. Though he told me not to return, in fear that my beauty would force him to go back on his word and ask again. I also found out that he had risked his life in the city following me for years when I was mortal. I asked him if one day he would be willing to bond himself to me forever, if I ever wished to stay with him. He replied by telling me that he would, but neither of us are ready for that step in our unlife. I left Mr. Matheson with a simple kiss to help me remember what I longed to come back to. Well, Tina and Louis finally show up and I go home with them. I know I look delicate, but as they could see I could take care of myself.

Now that it is all over, I think I have figured some things out. I understand why Matheson drank from me and asked me to leave in the beginning. He knew that I could never learn what I needed to about being a vampire banished away with him in the bayou. He knew that I needed to be in the city to experience and discover. Though it hurts him greatly to be away from me, he knows, as do I, that there is still more for me to learn. I am going back to the city, though my heart longs for him more than it ever did. Knowing his true feelings and now understanding his actions, show me what kind of gentleman he really is. I plan on going back to him someday. When we are both ready. This information of course will not leave my lips in fear of what Vidal might do or say.

All in all, I must give credit to Tina where credit is due. She helped me understand what I wanted out of love. She also helped me realized, as I am sure she knew all along, that I was covering up my broken heart with the false love of Vidal. I never loved him. My heart has always been with Mr. John Harley Matheson, and always will.

it's here it's here it's here it's here it's here

2009-01-25T23:10:00.000-08:00

It's here! Finally! Peter got it for me in this awesome yellow/orange color. Of course, I have no idea what it looks like in the sun like this – Peter took these pictures for me and sent to my CrackBerry. But it's gorgeous at night under the lights, just the same. God, I just love, love, love it! Got a chance to totally open it up late on Sunday night when Louis and I had to drive out to Matheson's place to pick Becky Lynn up before she went and did something really stupid. She was an hour or so ahead of us, so it was a perfect excuse for me to really put my foot down. I think I averaged about 165 mph on the way out. And it handled like a dream when we hit those tight turns... yummy.

I can't wait to have some fun with it on-track. I think Peter and I can take it over to Raceway Park in Belle Rose (an hour West of here) and run it on their road course. They have night track time on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, so we should be able to pull that off and not see a sunrise :)

Putting the Dis in Disfunctional

2009-01-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

Sunday brought all sorts of fun new surprises for me.

When I was given my Vitae fix before the Elysium, I instantly recognized the cloying, sickly-sweet smell of Becky Lynn Adler's blood lurking in the depths of the vessels Darius handed me. I confronted Pearl and demanded to know why, after we had agreed Becky Lynn's Theban magic and sticky Vitae would no longer be a part of my rehabilitation, but I was given no satisfactory answer. In fact, I was told to hold my tongue. I do so love Pearl, but I wish I understood why she makes these crazy decisions that seem to endanger us both. I guess I have to trust she is acting in our best interest. But it's very difficult to suppress my instincts to question and be suspicious... I must work harder at it though, because I know it makes her angry when I try to think for myself.

If I wasn't 99% sure Pearl would deny me all Vitae and force me to suffer withdrawals more agonizing than the final death, I would take matters into my own hands and destroy the two remaining vessels hidden below my cot. But the pathetic, honest truth is, I am afraid to displease her because I don't want to risk losing her love. That scares me almost more than suffering the withdrawals. So I am, again, neutered and forced to follow Pearl's wishes, without any force at all really. I'm so disgusted with myself.

The other "stellar" news I received was that Lou-cifer and Pearl, as suspected, "somehow" managed to talk through their irreconcilable differences (imagine that!) and are now best buds. Who could have predicted that? Oh, I don't know... maybe.. Me??????

Worse still, Lordling Louis has lowered himself to accept a position as applicant to the Invictus covenant, and Pearl has eagerly agreed to be his sponsor. Isn't that just delightful? I'll be serving tea and crumpets on the veranda tonight to celebrate this momentous occasion, so be sure not to miss it.

Of course, wouldn't you know it, as soon as the Heir Apparent was welcomed into our loving little home, Pearl assigned me my first "real" mission, but FORCED me to take Louis with me! As if kick-ass Tina couldn't handle a piddly little job like dragging Addler's sorry ass back from Matheson's house by myself. That was weak. I was pissed! And, of course he whined the entire trip. Did you expect anything else? I almost dumped him off on the interstate as an offering to the Lupine. He's pretty substantial, I bet he would have made a nice starter course for the Boys.

The only really good news was that I was able to escape my "honourable confinement" (read that term in a medieval book LOL) and got back so early in the morning Pearl suggested I stay over here with Peter. And my Nobel was delivered today (it totally ROCKS!). So, I'm brainstorming as we speak to figure out how I can stretch tonight into another night away from confinement...Maybe two or three? Who knows! I'll let you know how that goes.

A Near Miss

2009-01-25T21:30:00.001-08:00

Anything you'd like to share with us about this weekend, Miss Adler? I hear it was a pretty exciting Sunday for you...

Conquered and Subjugated

2009-01-23T16:10:00.000-08:00

A note I asked Darius to give to Pearl several hours
before we leave for the Elysium.

Why do you keep me at arm’s length? You know I can’t take it. I’ll never survive this. I freely gave you my very heart and soul and all my love and devotion in return for your bond. You know I’m completely yours. Now, and for all nights to come. So why do you repeatedly deny feeding me the very thing that will nourish, sustain, and thrill my being? All I need in this world is your life-blood.

I hate you. I hate myself. I love you more than anything, but I hate what I’ve been reduced to. I hate wanting it, even as I love it and want more.

As ever, I’m consumed with thoughts of the sweet sting of your Vitae; the way it burns my lips and throat and seers my veins like a plague. When I drink from you, for one agonizing, heavenly moment I am closer to you than a lover. I am you. I am alive.

I’m raped by your Vitae and left a hapless casualty on the edge of ecstasy. But it’s always gone before I’m ever satisfied. Just a little more... I always need just a little more...

This must amuse you so: to hold all the cards, to call all the shots, to wield all the power. For I would do anything for your love, and for what lies just below your beautiful, porcelain skin. Just having you near makes me lose my senses, forget my name and sink to my knees in a pathetic mixture of hope and despair. The dream you might offer your arm to me (maybe this time?) and score it with a beautifully manicured nail until the dark, viscus liquid fights its way to the surface to find its new host keeps me perpetually thirsty and semi-conscious during days. If only this time you’ll stop and indulge my thirst. Quench my hunger for your love.

Please don’t make me beg. Please. You’ve already conquered and subjugated me like a rebellious subject. I’ve willingly bended the knee and sworn my fealty (which, I’d happily do formally at your pleasure) – Just, don’t make me beg to share what already bonds us together. What brought us together. I need to share your life to continue mine. I’m so in love with you.

Pearl, I need you.

Your most devoted servant,

(PS: Darius lent me some markers and stationary.
I hope that was OK)

We've Only Just Begun

2009-01-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

See Becks? I knew you were totally upset. I knew you were hurting. But in my haste to figure out the problem and try to make things better, I went and jumped to incorrect conclusions, even with the evidence I thought I had, and drove a wedge between us. And over what, that crappy Spaniard? Not worth it!

Don't take this the wrong way, but you are so 18! And you desperately need a boyfriend to take the edge off all these feelings. I can help you with that. But seriously; if you really, really want to try to make a go of it with Vidal, if he really means "that much" to you (and you SWEAR to me you're not targeting him as a Daddy figure because you just basically lost yours and you're looking for: comfort, guidance, direction, protection, fatherly love, discipline, whatever!) then I will help you attempt to get him.

If we're going to get him for you, we don't send you in blind with these lame strategies of sappy teenage devotion and weak attempts at bullying him. We need to do some major homework. Recognisance missions targeting everyone that has dealt with him to get every possible detail of his life, his former loves, how he operates, what he looks for in what types of relationships, what turns him on, what turns him off, etc. etc. Then, armed with the exact recipe you can go in confidently and seduce him like a grown up. Not grope at him awkwardly like a pre-pubescent teenager. Savvy?

Is that what you want? I think you'd have SO much more fun with a younger guy that wasn't so stuffy, religious, pious and totally self-centered. I can't even begin to imagine how boring this guy's sex life must be like... But I'll keep my mouth shut and just help you if you want help. Whatever you want. My promise to you, from the New and Improved Tina™

Now. Be a good girl and put that gun down. You'll blow a hole in your head and lose brains you just can't afford to lose. And then when I can see sky through the hole, I'll have to drop "Princess" and start calling you "Airhead".

::grin::

Devil in the Red Dress

2009-01-21T23:22:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, you'll be a huge hit in that little red number, Diabla. If Kindred normally sweat, they'd be sweating...

I liked the black Zac Posen dress for me too. But I got out-voted by Pearl. She said it would be inappropriate for an Invictus (candidate) to show up to an Elysium in a party dress. Especially considering my station (that I am a mere mentor representing a Primogen). I need to be dressed like a professional apprentice. I think my days of being the "Devil in the Red Dress" and the center of attention are on hold for a while, sadly. (Guess I'll be passing that honour to you, Becky Lynn!)

She said I can save the black dress for a "real" Invictus party, so at least I have that to look forward to. And the gold Julien MacDonald is just pure Daeva, don't you think? But as long as Pearl is in the room and I'm thralled to her, I don't think I'll ever be getting my hands on that one. Trust me, she's a crazy, jealous bitch. (Not that she isn't my everything. I think about her every waking moment... but she's still scary crazy.)

She chose the long, black Givenchy/Riccardo Tisci jacket with the black ascot tie and the slouch leggings for me to wear on Sunday. And asked me to find a closed-toe boot. I liked these below, but I suppose she'll choose the third one (the Fendi's) or the first one maybe? She's hard to predict. The middle is just too B/D for Invictus. I'll do my hair like the other Riccardo Tisci jacket ensemble pic; conservative and a little severe with it pulled back slick and tight in a pony tail. Oh... I LOVE getting dressed up! (Even if I didn't get my first, second or third choice.) I love getting out of Prison even more!!! Ha!

Finished!

2009-01-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

I am done and finished! So. I tell Vidal all about my problems and he does nothing! So. I finally get a meeting with the Prince to let him know my issues. And nothing! I LOVE Lancea Sanctum and I Love him, but I have these feelings that I just can't shake. I am constantly thinking about my BFF Tina and my Sire Mr. John Harley Matheson. Well of course it is because I had nobody to tell me what this whole vampire thing was about. I was new and lost. I drank a few too many times from these people and now I can't get them out of my head. Plus, I tell him how they are BOTH Invictus and BOTH hate Vidal and the Sanctum. Tina is constantly teasing me about drinking from her again. I'm afraid! They might try and make me drink from them again. Then, I will become like Tina, a slave. They might take me away from my Prince! They might make me join the yucky Invictus! So...I tell this all to Vidal and all he tells me is to fight the urge! He doesn't care about me! He doesn't care if he loses me! If he did, then he would help me and let me bond to him! Then I would be safe and he could drink from me when he needed. I'm pure! I mean come on! I even have virgin blood. Your not going to find one of me just walking down the street! What more could a Lancea Sanctum member want! I'm perfect! Oh God! What am I going to have to do!

Hmmmm

2009-01-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

Let's see...Well, I love them all! However, since I will be wearing red (my favorite color to wear)I would vote not to wear the red dress.

I LOVE this one.

The gold one is beautiful too, but not appropriate for church.

No need for Peter to go out. Thanks a bunch though! I am friends with the designer Lauren Conrad in the U.S. I called her and she has made me this one. With red lips and a 1940s style, it will definitly make the boys sweat! Simple...but very me.

XOXO,

The Louis Maddox Project Extended by Popular Demand

2009-01-20T23:33:00.000-08:00

Oooh... don't give me this false modesty crap! You "are" aware you've made an amazing impression on Pearl. You are most definitely aware of the power you have, the talent she desperately hopes to harness and the cards you hold.

So don't try to play me. I'm on to you V-boy. If I had half a brain, I'd be polluting Pearl's with the "real" truth about you. But no. Instead, unbelievably, I'm back here wasting my time, trying to orchestrate peace talks between two world powers who are childishly arguing over who insulted the ghoul-slave first. As if anybody really cares! WTF. You know this is just a big power trip between the two of you...

If I still had the sense the good Lord gave me, I'd tell Her Excellency that you never wrote me back. But there's still a small, soft spot for you in my dead, rotten heart. So here's what I'll do. I'm going to tell her you'll approach her at the Elysium. You won't apologize, but you'll mention how unfortunate it was Darius got the wrong impression regarding your conversation the other night. And you'll suggest everyone take a deep breath and start over again. Bring her a rose. Be a gentleman. You're a Ventrue, you should be able to figure out how to do that.

I'll work on her from this side. But the charm will have to come from you at the Elysium. Got it? If you blow it, you're on your own from now on, Big Boy. So don't blow it. We are going to have a blast together, and there is so much potential for us to become outrageously rich, and disgustingly powerful. I, for one, am not turning my back on this opportunity.

So, I'll see you Sunday. Wear something exquisite. It occurs to me that if she's not into you as the son she never had, she might just be into you. She is a Daeva, after all.

He who would search for pearls

2009-01-20T20:29:00.000-08:00

Pearl asked if I would talk with you one more time before she gives up on the 'Louis Maddox Project' entirely.

Heh...were those her words? That's very cute.

Regarding the Meeting Incident:

Meeting incident? *chuckle* I wasn't aware that I had made such an impression.

Though the timing issue was meant to be a small test to demonstrate you have a genuine thirst to be involved with the Invictus, she said she would have compromised easily on it.

I imagine she would have, unfortunately her secretary was working under a different mindset. Due to some prior scheduling conflicts and the two hour notice I was simply not available at midnight. My suggestion of an hour later at 1am was met with some rather off-putting demands that I was not being asked to attend but that I was being told. After this, I sincerely apologized that I would not be able to make the meeting, and asked that he please pass on my message and number to Pearl so that we could re-schedule.

What set her off was the report that you were being condescending to Darius.

I find this thoroughly interesting. If I remember correctly, I was on the receiving end of being Told what I was and was not going to be doing that night. I honestly don't recall anything I said during that conversation that could have come off as condescending. Perhaps the mere fact that I was declining his demands upset him? Thinking back... he did sound quite agitated, my guess would be he does not receive that response very often so I can see how it could be construed poorly.

..Even though Darius is her retainer, he speaks for her. And if you disrespect him, you are disrespecting Pearl.

Hopefully I have thoroughly addressed this issue above and will leave it at that. The scheduling conflict that "she said she would have compromised easily on" and the message I received were markedly very different. If she is having some misunderstandings with her subordinates I wont hold it against her. When it comes to the face of your organization and how it is being represented, it is best to keep a close eye on things. Someone here is missing the mark, so perhaps a quick team meeting can get everyone back on the same page.

She wants to know how serious you really are about joining.

As I have told her in person, I am interested.

She isn't convinced you are.

That is unfortunate.

In the end, all business operations can be reduced to three words: people, product and profits. Unless you've got a good team, you can't do much with the other two.

Just Be Careful, That's All I Ask

2009-01-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

OK, OK! You said nothing! I believe you. It's just odd how it goes from you asking for help for yourself to Vidal wanting to know who the addict is in his city... doesn't make much sense.

If you trust Pearl and think she's on the up and up with you, you're mistaken. I keep telling you, don't trust anybody. "I" don't even trust her. Pearl will act to save herself and damn everyone else in her wake. Just like every other kindred in this town. Don't get taken in by this "I'm just trying to get her clean" crap. She trying to get me clean because she now has an indentured slave that can do her bidding. She doesn't care about me. She cares what I can do for her.

Anyway. Let's just forget about it and move on. I'm sure there will be plenty more weirdness as these assholes pit us against each other. Just remember, nobody really is what they claim to be.

Well Fooy!

2009-01-20T16:46:00.000-08:00

First of all....I told Vidal NOTHING! Don't you think if I had, then he would of come after you instead of asking Pearl who it was? He might of read into what I was saying though. I never mentioned you or even that I know someone who is blood addicted. HOWEVER....I did mention that I was concerned about myself and asked if there was anything that could help? Then I asked that if there were something, if it was only for Lancea Sanctum members. So...if he went straight to Peal, I don't know what to tell ya. As it is...I might get in trouble for telling you that much! I am NOT ratting you out, only trying to help you. I would not get in trouble for giving you vessels because Vidal trusts Pearl and she wanted me to do this for you. You are on th road to recovery according to her. Though I appreciate you worrying about me. I am also not being used. I am Lancea Sanctum, and am acting like one. Just like you are TOTALLY changing for your little Pearly Poo.

XOXO,

Elysium this Sunday

2009-01-20T15:52:00.000-08:00

Since the Spaniard made Elysium mandatory this Sunday (jackass), I figure we might as well make the best of it and dress to make those bastards drool. So I had Peter help me pick out a few favorites (let me know what you think!) and as soon as my beloved gives me her OK (yah, I crossed her the other night and went a little too far with my smart mouth. She slapped me! And, "I" didn't do anything back. I just took it. I even apologized. Can you imagine? It was a Tina-all-time-low. But that's what I'm all about now, with my Red Leash and my "M" LOL)

Anyway, let me know what you guys think of these. Becky Lynn, I want to see what you're wearing too! Peter will go to New York to pick up from Zac or Ricardo or London for Julien, so let me know if you need him to pick up something for you.

From the top: Zac Posen, Zac Posen, Givenchy (Riccardo Tisci), Givenchy (Riccardo Tisci), Julien MacDonald

A Message For He Who Walks On Water (Yes, You Louis)

2009-01-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

Louis,

You were right. We can't meet at the Elysium (I must stay by Pearl's side all night or she will "set fire to me" -- her words, LOL), and this room I'm being kept in is being monitored closely. But I can write to you from my Blackberry, and receive emails back.

I won't lie. Pearl asked if I would talk with you one more time before she gives up on the 'Louis Maddox Project' entirely.

Regarding the Meeting Incident: Though the timing issue was meant to be a small test to demonstrate you have a genuine thirst to be involved with the Invictus, she said she would have compromised easily on it. What set her off was the report that you were being condescending to Darius...

Even though Darius is her retainer, he speaks for her. And if you disrespect him, you are disrespecting Pearl. The Invictus teaches us to have a superior attitude to the "help", which I mentioned, but she said absolutely no one disrespects "her" help. I reminded her we are neonates just being mentored and don't know all the subtleties, but she wasn't buying it. She wants to know how serious you really are about joining. She isn't convinced you are.

So Dude. It's time to put up, or shut up. If you want in, this is your free ride. You won't have a faster line up to the top. She "is" the top. And that means the least amount of time spent on the bottom. And believe me, everyone that joins spends time on the bottom, and it's not pretty. But that's the way the convenant works. You pay your dues, and you (hopefully) get paid off in the end when you're ruling the masses from your precipice. Taking advantage of this chick's offer to fast-track you is definitely in your best interest.

Between you and me, Pearl mentions you ALL the time and it annoys the fuck out of me. "Louis this" and "Louis that" and "Do you think you can get Louis on board?" and "Would Louis be willing to be involved?". It's crap! I'm doing my damndest to get noticed, and all she can do is talk about you. Louis, Louis, Louis! Louis, the Ventrue Over-Achiever!

I can't really say I'll shed any tears of blood if I can't talk you into calling Pearl for another meeting, which is what she wants me to do. Because if I don't, I'll have all her attention to myself without you hogging it up. And, I won't have to share the limelight with you during all the special projects she keeps mentioning that she wants us to partner on together. It's not like I can't handle them myself without some snotty Ventrue screwing them up anyway.

So, it's totally up to you Loui-cifer. But would you do me a favor? Give me a definitive answer, one way or the other, so she can either whine about the amazing candidate she's losing and move on, or build her Golden-Boy-Chosen-One a frickin' guest house stocked with blood dolls and 0- pints. I just don't get what she sees in you. She must have wanted a Ventrue son or something.

Can I get your answer before Elysium please. If that won't put you out too terribly much. Either decide to do it, or move on. If you do it, I promise you, there will never be a dull moment. And you will have a new sister that will always have your back. Despite the sibling rivalry. Come to the fun side Louis. The ruling class...

T

Tangled Webs

2009-01-20T10:57:00.000-08:00

Becky, Becky, Becky.

Oh, what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive...

::grin::

Just so we're clear – I know we left this whole thing a little rushed and weird last night. Basically, I didn't know what was up, but I knew "something" was up by the way you were acting after your little confession session with the Spaniard, and how you reacted when I threatened you with the Revelation. Only people with secrets worth keeping react that way. But that's cool. We've all got our secrets to keep.

The real problem cropped up when Pearl informed me that the Spaniard approached the Primogen wanting to know who the addict is in his city.

So I have no proof of what exactly you said, but you said "something" that endangered me, and Pearl, who is protecting me and trying to cure me. At this point she's in deep and will go down just as hard as I will if he finds out she's harboring me. Look. I know you got the hots for this guy, but for once in your un-life TRUST ME! Selling your friends out is not going to get you any closer to him. He's not taking you to his bed with each rumor and secret you sell him, is he? No. He is USING YOU. Please, Becky Lynn: open your eyes and understand who your true friends are.

I did something for you last night, even though I was pissed. I insisted Pearl not use you to make the blood vessels for me anymore. That was a hard sell, and I almost shot myself in the foot and cut all my vitae supply off. The thing is, she was willing to let you continue to supply me, and if things go south with me, let you take the hit with the Spaniard and the LS as the "supplier to the addict". Probably wouldn't look good on the old resume, would it? So I flat out refused to let you be used like that anymore. I had to lie and manipulate the situation a bit, but I love you too much to see that happen.

I hope that makes some sort of impact with you. Don't sell me out for your perceived gains in bed.

If you want him "that" bad, let me HELP YOU. First, you joined the wrong club. Priests don't bang nuns from their sanctified churches. Gross. He probably wants a little nasty on the side, if you get my drift. But you've got to do some homework and find out what does it for him, and become that. THINK like an alter-boy, Becky Lynn.

Slave to the Vitae

2009-01-19T07:54:00.000-08:00

A cousin from Atlanta sent me this. It has many human references, but addiction is a universal pain; it affects kine and kindred the same way. Once you're hooked, you're hooked. Right Becky?

Addicts

Come on down to my corner
For you, doll, only the best
It’ll be fine
Draw a line
I’ll worry about the rest

You think your addiction is private
But, honey, that ain’t true
From teens to queens
Wall Street scenes
They order the same as you

All it takes is money
Desperation and time
To get loaded up
On good stuff
Though the cheap sells by the dime

This’ll take away your worries
For minutes, maybe years
Time will tell
Withdrawal’s hell
And dealers don’t take tears

This bag is for the junkies
With no preference or pride
Garbage heads
With shabby threads
Just living for a ride

So we call it “Porneia”
For the sweaty and confused
And they’ll be back
For another track
‘Til all their time is used

“Storge” costs a little more
And it isn’t very strong
But the buzz is sure
And if it’s pure
The effects are all lifelong

Here they don’t buy “Agape”
I couldn’t give it away
Down on their knees
For a disease
Self-serving, they obey

Those are not the killer drugs
“Eros” takes that prize
Though it grows anywhere
To find it is rare
Too good for my supplies

From first taste they’re all addicts
Down and out, in pain
Willing to kill
For one more pill
Booting a guttered vein

And, doll, you’re doomed to rebound
You’re either hooked or dead
To not want joy
Will just destroy
Your living soul instead

So, sit down by the alley
We’ll watch the neon glow
Having life beat
On the street
We, the addicts, know

(Addicts by Abby Peterson, Camarilla #: US2002023203 from her Margaret Calloway Bellemore Vampire the Requiem Blog, published here with her permission. Be sure to check out her other work, it's amazing.)

Kumbaya

2009-01-16T19:04:00.000-08:00

There "is" something very important you can do for me Princess, and I almost forgot about it. If I play my cards right and get myself out of here on Monday (a big "if" I guess), I will be watching over my shoulder for that crazy Gutterball Nosferatu who wants to put me in traction because I told YOU about the deal he made with Louis and I (that I was suppose to keep on the D.L) and then YOU went straight to the crazy MF and told him you knew all about it and what could you do to help! Aaargh!

So now you've got to do something to calm him down before he's singing Kumbaya around a campfire in my honor. Can you bake him blood cookies and talk sweet to him like only an Adler could? Lately I'm facing torpor and final-death so often, I'm starting to lose count.

2nd Stage Vinculum: A Short Primer

2009-01-16T18:14:00.000-08:00

Heh heh heh...

Oh, now, come on Becks. We've shared some really good times. Two, to be exact. You may hate the way I act. The way I despise Vidal. The way I disregard the Sanctimonious. But you can't get me out of your mind. And what's even better? You don't want to. You play our little spats over and over in your head, and dream about how we could be more intimate... how you could get more of my attention. How you could get me to love you more.

I don't even doubt that adorable little picture you just sent was actually displacement for the feelings you have for me. That you're longing to complete the bond, with me as your domitor and you as my thrall. We can even dress up with the cute little leash and collar around your neck if you're into that. I will allow it.

You know where I am when you're ready.

PS: if you EVER bother to listen to ANYTHING I tell you, this is the time to do it; DON'T TELL VIDAL HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO BEING VITAE ADDICTED!!!!!!!!!! I swear to God, you won't be able to manipulate him half as well as I've manipulated Pearl, and you see how far that's gotten me. For the love of all that's sacred to you, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! Seriously, just keep it to yourself. I'll help you if you want my help. But you're underestimating how serious of a deal they make of it, and how little you can do about it. From what I've heard via Pearl, Vidal has no patience or sense of humor about addiction at all... Don't make the mistake I made. I should have never told anyone.

How Rude!

2009-01-16T16:20:00.001-08:00

I think you need lessons on how to get what you want! First you dare to call me "Rat Queen", then you ask me to keep a secret! Your unbelievable!

When it comes to Vidal and Lancea Sanctum, you have no clue. The Primogen are there for a reason! If Peal is taking care of your problem, then Vidal will trust her. There is no need to bring it up unless it becomes a problem. I was ONLY trying to help! I thought there might be something that we could do for you. That's fine! I will ask him to help me in case it happens to me. AND I WON'T SHARE IT WITH YOU!

Have fun begging your MASTER!

Hush

2009-01-16T09:57:00.000-08:00

Becky Lynn Adler.

You just don't get it, do you?

Augusto Vidal will not tolerate addicts. If you "tell" him I have a problem, he will hunt me down and stake me. Or worse, considering the tenuous relationship we enjoy. Don't let your ego cloud your vision; you have no sway over the Prince, and he loves me not. If you share this with him, or Alexander, or Donnaven, or any others in their faction, I am as good as final-dead. And "sorry" won't save me then, good Sister.

Miss Chastain certainly isn't going to give me permission to Embrace someone for the purpose of indulging my need to get high... are you insane? And if my plan gets back to your Prince, I'll be hunted down even faster. So please, if you really hold any love for me or my well being, keep your beautiful mouth closed and let this be our little secret...

Yes?

You Know What I'm Talking About

2009-01-16T06:23:00.000-08:00

The reason why the Prince "knows everything".

(This lovely miniature "The Rat Queen" by Nancy Farmer is part of the
"Kings and Queens of Old England" series and can be purchased here.)

Oh Dear!

2009-01-15T15:41:00.000-08:00

My dear dear Tina....have you learned nothing. The Prince knows everything that you do! Plus, why would you want to go behind that wonderful creature's back! If Pearl was willing to back you on your idea to make Peter a childe, then I am sure that Vidal would understand and give you his blessing. He trusts his Primogen. The big job would be to convince Pearl. Just make sure and offer him the choice of becoming one of us. And make sure you are positive that he would be willing to accept, otherwise you will have no other choice than to destroy him.

I do hope that Pearl is taking care of you. Though you are not one of the holy sanctified, I am happy that you have found your place. You are like a sister to me! I will help you anyway I can. I do think that Blood Knives thing is definitely the wrong route. I will be speaking with Vidal soon, and I will bring up your little problem. The Lancia Sanctum must have something to help with this. I too fear this blood addiction outcome! I fear being envinculumed to Mr. John Matheson even more! At least Pearl seems like a respectable kindred, for an Invictus. Though, I do believe she needs to work a little harder on her manners and dress attire. At least you can help her with the attire part. ;)

Miss you!

XOXO,

Negotiations

2009-01-15T11:53:00.000-08:00

OK. I can figure this out. I'm a smart girl...

I don't walk out. As much as this is killing me, I don't walk out. I need to negotiate with Pearl. She is a compassionate creature. If she wanted me dead, I would already be gone.

So she secured the Vinculum from me. She won Round 1. Now for Round 2. Somehow I need to convince her to agree to the "Blood Tell" Oath rather than the "Blood Knives" Oath. I can't do Blood Knives. I will die. I know if she chooses, she can stop it in time before I meet my final death. But unless she plans to follow me around night after night in order to be there if/when I break faith with my oath, she'll miss my failure and I'll die unnoticed without a chance to save myself. I can't bear to die and lose her.

Pearl "has" to agree: I'm not strong enough for Blood Knives. But I can handle Blood Tell. If I break faith, my beloved will know immediately and can punish me as she sees fit. That, I can handle. For her, I can handle anything, except the final death.

Plus, I've been thinking. If I'm very crafty, I can word the Oath in such a way as to leave me room to get just enough of what I need to survive. Say... from my own offspring?

What if I Embrace Peter? I could drink from him whenever I needed vitae without repercussions. I'll keep him quietly tucked away so Vidal won't know I've made a childe, and since I'm already in Vinculum to Pearl, there is no danger of becoming bonded to anyone else anyway. As far as I can tell, there are no negatives to this plan!

I hope I'm still thinking clearly enough to keep myself safe, and Pearl happy. I've become so sick and disoriented, I'm not sure how viable my ideas really are... And I just can't bear to have Pearl angry with me.

Vampire: The Requiem – Video

2009-01-14T14:50:00.000-08:00

Check out the video on Vampire: The Requiem.
Very cool. Also demonstrates how many of these words and names we've been mispronouncing...

THAT'S IT!

2009-01-13T19:24:00.001-08:00

I can't take this anymore! I'm absolutely freaking out. I'm so sick I can't hold down the crap human blood they're feeding me. I'm throwing it up everywhere. I've got the shakes; I'm so cold and so utterly sick. I'm dizzy and the room is spinning around my bed, and my muscles are cramped up so bad, all I want to do is die.

And I know how I can make myself feel good again. It's so simple. It's as easy as walking out that door and getting what I need.

The next ghoul that ventures in, I'm going to make a break for it. I'll call Pearl later and apologize. Just let her know that things didn't work out as planned and I had to be on my way. She'll understand.

Oh Tina!

2009-01-13T17:52:00.000-08:00

Oh you poor thing! That looks miserable! I will remind Louis to call Pearl as soon as I get out of this exceptionally warm bubble bath. Oh....and don't worry, I'm taking good care of Peter ;)

XOXO,

2009-01-13T15:06:00.000-08:00

Please. Make her let me have visitors. Louis – she'll listen to you.
I'm totally going to lose it in here...

Miss Adler's Men in Her Fantasy World

2009-01-13T10:38:00.000-08:00

...Or, Kindred Becky Lynn will never, ever have.

First, my apologies. I had to delete my previous entry as it was not appropriate, coming from a new representative of a Primogen. Whether or not it was my idea to be bonded to that Primogen. I have to remember to curb my temper. Count to 10 or catch hell. I think Miss Pearl is losing patience with my lovable "Tina-ness". Think before I open my mouth. Count to 10 or catch hell...

Anyway, let's just take a moment to analyze the psychosis that is Becky Lynn Adler, shall we?

Vidal: There is no way that creature is going to couple with a neonate like you. Sorry Cinderella. He may choose some blood dolls or blood wives to satisfy his need to sustain himself through his last moments before Torpor (trust me, it's coming, and soon) but if he were going to choose a consort to rule with, it would be a powerful elder that could reign with him on equal footing, don't you think?

Matheson: Hooo Boy. I distinctly remember the last, parting words you screeched to him as we left his hell-hole of a house in the swamp. "John Matheson, you are 'no' gentleman." Ouch. Just by your own requirements, how could you ever lower yourself to be around swamp-trash like that, considering the way he treated you before? Unless you're secretly into bad boys and being abused? If so, do tell!

Donnovan: Trust me on this one, darling – he's a player. I threw myself at him until I was scraping the floor and he was so not interested, until I walked out and lost interest in him. Then suddenly I was his number one goal. He wants what he can't have. If you play that game with him, you'll enjoy a short romp before he breaks your heart and kicks you to the curb. I know – he's a Daeva like me; just older and harder and colder. But maybe this turns on your masochistic side? If so, play through.

In the meantime, could one of you guys call Miss Pearl and ask if I could have visitors? I need to see someone or something besides her ghouls marching in and out and these four walls. Or, at least ask her if I could have a computer or a DVD or TV or something. A book? I'm losing my mind in here. Seriously.

Miss Adler's Men

2009-01-12T17:51:00.000-08:00

As you know, I come from a very prominent and wealthy New Orleans family. Everyone knows the Adlers. It has always been the same. Some people call me a southern belle; I like to just think of myself as a lady. However, I recently turned 18, and I wanted a change. I wanted some excitement. I wanted to find love. I was tired of the same daily routine and the same rich young gentlemen pining after me. So I finally got Mommy and Daddy to allow me to go to Mardi Gras!

The largest party in Louisiana! Where else would I find the excitement that I was longing for! It was wonderful! More than what I ever expected. Then…I saw him. I was at a jazz club. He was everything I had ever desired. He was handsome, older than I, and he acted like a true gentleman. His name was Mr. John Harley Matheson. My radar was definitely off that evening. The next thing I knew, he was telling me that he loved me and biting me! When I woke up, he was gone and I was changed forever.

Though I was turned into a vampire, it didn’t matter. I was in love and he loved me! I went searching for him. Through my search I found that he had been a vampire since the Civil War and lived on a plantation outside of town. He did not get along with the current Prince and was not allowed in the city. After finally finding him, he drank me almost completely dry, and asked me to leave. He turned out to be no gentleman at all.

After becoming heart broken and alone, I was able to realize that I must have been under some magic charm of his. He had fell in love with me, like most men do, and put some spell on me so that I too would fall in love with him. Low and behold, only days later, I finally met the one I was looking for. Prince Vidal.

He is the most loyal, regal, sophisticated man I know. He is also a true gentleman to boot. We have the same religious beliefs and standards. Since he is the Prince, it is hard for him to proclaim his love to the world, as I have. However, what happens behind closed doors has been very exciting! I think he is just waiting for the right time.

Though I now know where my heart is, I still have concerns. After meeting the Sheriff of New Orleans, I am pretty sure he is also infatuated with me. He is very good looking, but nothing compared to Vidal. He is also completely full of himself. I am also pretty sure that Mr. Matheson is also still watching me from time to time. Since he is not allowed in the city, he can’t just come and grab me, but I am worried that he might try.

Though I have concerns, I know Vidal will protect me. I have joined his covenant Lancea Sanctum and have become a serious follower. I will do everything I can to show Vidal how I feel about the unlife, God, and him. Those three things are now what I am focused on. I always get what I want and will find my place among royalty. Vidal will see to it that I get there and for that I will follow him wherever he goes.

XOXO,

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2009-01-12T17:32:00.000-08:00

Watch me frenzy, Becky Lynn. Come here closer and watch me frenzy all over your ass.

Didn't your Mom teach you not to tease caged-up animals? Not nice. And, not smart.

Sit!

2009-01-12T15:54:00.000-08:00

You must have been a good little girl! Did Pearl give you permission to have an opinion??? Good for you.

XOXO,

Highest Highs, Lowest Lows

2009-01-11T18:37:00.000-08:00

I'll keep this short as I'm posting from my Blackberry. It's all I've been allowed communication-wise from my "prison cell". I'm grateful for it really, as I wasn't allowed anything at first...

It started out a really promising night. Even though I went to the lame NA meeting and it was totally bogus, I hit the Circle Bar and checked out "Pharmacist Always on Duty". They rocked. In between sets I hooked up with Ian -- he did a lot of crack (which I hooked him up with) and I got way high off his blood. I mean WAY high. So nothing was touching the ground when I met up with Pearl a couple hours later. It didn't stop the pain though when THE BITCH STAKED ME INTO TORPOR.

I was staked for at least 24, as far as I can tell. When they ripped the stake out, I was given a choice; Vinculum to Pearl, along with several other unpleasant conditions, or I could walk out and face the night on my own. Except now a Primogen knew the extent of my vitae addiction, so it would only be a short matter of time before it got back to the Prince. And then a short matter of time before my days were shortly numbered.

Who are we kidding? I didn't have a choice at all. I'm now in vinculum to the lovely and talented Pearl Chastain. My life is about to change in a big, big way. But the scary truth is, I still couldn't stop myself from drinking my own blood when they left me alone in here...

I just... can't... stop...

Faith

2009-01-11T18:22:00.000-08:00

Jesus Christ, Becky!

Sometimes I feel like I'm in Evangelistic Hell around you. And I'm waiting for some huge, overweight Pentecostal freak to grab me by the hair, throw me back, have a seizure and scream for an "Hallelujah!" Where is this bible-thumpin' nonsense coming from? Weren't you brought up Catholic? Aren't you suppose to quietly but manically obsess about your guilt and be done with it?

Preach this crap somewhere else. I don't believe in your God...
I AM A GOD!

Come here, drink from me, and let me show you the way to true salvation...
Have faith my friend.

2009-01-11T18:15:00.000-08:00

Keep that mutt on a short leash, Princess.

New Coterie Member!

2009-01-10T08:39:00.000-08:00

I have recently received a sweet gift from Louis! She is a new part of our little coterie! Her name is Versace, and she is my new baby ghoul. Isn't she adorable! She is in the process of potty training.

Thanks again Louis!

XOXO,

You poor souls!

2009-01-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

You poor souls. If only you would come over to Lancea Sanctum. You would then truly understand why God made us into vampires. You focus too much on the petty things and get so riled up. First of all....I do love Vidal. God owns my unlife, but Vidal owns my blood and heart. As far as John Mathison is concerned....He needs to learn how to be a true gentleman and not the monster that he is! Yes, I am picky with my food. You are what you eat. They need to be at least a 9.5 to be fit for my likeing.

Tina, there is no need to be jealous. You are very pretty too, otherwise I wouldn't have fed off of you. You are definitly a 10, just not a 11+ like myself. However, your begging and whining is bringing you down a notch on my scale. Pearl has really gotten to you. I definitly miss my BFF!

Louis dear, keeping secrets is not nice. I can tell. I'm really good at reading people. I don't know what your up to, but please keep yourself out of trouble. Your researching abilities would be a perfect fir for Lancea Sanctum. We always need keepers and records of our history. Just think about it. You can still be saved!

Jack, Jack, Jack! What am I going to do with you! You need to stop tormenting yourself with your food. Our job is to keep them fearful of life, so that they look to God for salvation. To us, they are a job and our food. Nothing else! Snap out of it...your human life is OVER! You are now a night dweller, act like it. Our unlife does have a purpose. I know you too believe in God, like myself. Come be with the sanctified.

I love you all!
Hugs and Kisses!
XOXO

Selling my soul

2009-01-08T23:55:00.000-08:00

GEEZ Louis!

You're so stinkin' sensitive. I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry I called you out on the preachy thing. I'm just losing grip here and I'm not quite sure what end is up anymore. And you've ALWAYS got EVERYTHING under control. No matter what. It's a little maddening. I lie. It's a lot maddening.

Like you, I just discovered the absolute best thing that has happened to me in my life: death! And now I'm staring down the barrel of having to sell my soul to try and salvage what I've got left of it. Can you, of all of us, who values privacy and independence the most, even fathom the concept of having to give up all your freedom and control to someone else so they can control your addiction for you? I'm totally fucked...

Sorry if I snapped at you. I'm just in a bad place right now. You're still my favorite. You always will be.

Well....fuck....

2009-01-08T19:35:00.000-08:00

Your counselor? *sigh* Damn...it sure is easy to get misunderstood on here. My sincerest apologies for coming off like an a-hole, it was completely unintentional. I know you are dealing with some serious shit right now, but believe me, I would never sit here and pretend that I have the slightest idea of what you are going through.

Heh...I bet I've spent years of my life reading blogs, and trolling forums. But posting?...nah, no thanks... Apparently it took my death to make me dumb enough to do something like that. I guess I learned my lesson for the day. Tonight I fear I may have learned a bit more than I wanted to.

I sit here now, wishing I could convince myself that I am having the same misunderstandings about your response but its not looking good.

I suppose in the end it may be for the best. I hate to say it, but if what you are saying is true, you may not have been the friend I thought you were. It turns out the un-life is a lot more like life than I thought.

I guess this would be a good time to apologize to Becky and Jack as well, if what I said came off as preaching, please know it came from good intentions. For what its worth, I considered you all my family....

well...

fuck...

Louis; you're so smart, I should be paying you by the hour

2009-01-08T17:33:00.001-08:00

Oh sure Louis, this is all SO easy for you. You who never have any fun. Mr. Louis "I've-only-drunk-from-one-Kindred-in-my-Unlife" Maddox. I bet it's nice to look down at us and preach from your soap box. Hope you're not getting a nose-bleed up there, bro.

"Get this shit under control"? Are you my fucking counselor now? If it's that easy, why don't YOU tell me how to get my shit under control. Because I have to confess, I've been following you home each night, fantasizing about surprising you in your new place and enjoying a little snack off Mezzo. Don't look at me like that dude, you know you would be no sweat for me to take down... In fact, you'd probably taste a whole lot better than her. Not so tarry-black and thick with disease. At this point though, beggars can't be choosers. Mezzo is an easy target, and junkies love easy targets.

Your Dear, Beloved Friend,

Louis said: Just remember, people with power are never eager
to give it up. Be careful who you trust.

More like, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

25 Years? I can't wait!

2009-01-07T23:22:00.001-08:00

25 years? Just think of the possibilities...damn...look what we have accomplished in just a few months!
Track down your sires they said...done.
Kill that Lucas bastard...done.
Keep your noses clean, stay out of trouble...done...ish.
And the most important:
Make lives for yourselves, play, drink and be merry...Absolutely!

I have to be honest though, I do miss our early days a bit. Back before Becky drank the Kool-Aid and Tina just drank a bit too much. You know...when the coterie came first, or atleast some of us thought it did.

Tina, hun, I love you babe, but you have to get this blood shit under control. You have so much potential, I dont want to see it wasted like this.

Becky,I know we hav'nt always seen eye to eye, but Lancia Sanctum?...God?...fuck that, we will rule this world just fine on our own. Im not sure what you are planning to get from them, but I really do wish you the best with it.

Mr. Jack, *sigh* I can't remember how many times I sat at home, alone, wishing I had the incredible abilities that you have now. Of course, that was back during what I now call the "dark ages" of my pre-life, but still. A man with your talents could really go far, with a bit of creativity and a little ambition you could lay waste to this town. One day youll come around, I know it.

But lets get back to the positive. God damn life is good, is'nt it? Its too bad I had to go and die to realize how great it is, but who knew?!

All we need now is to lay out our plans, continue to build, and let the money and power roll on in. We have great prospects in our future, and I am really excited about where things are going. Things are going to be beautiful.

-Just remember, people with power are never eager to give it up. Be carefull who you trust.

Where will we be in 25 years?

2009-01-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

I'm now officially, irrevocably vitae addicted. And as my addiction grows more frantic and my will to fight it grows more anemic, I'm desperately trying to find a way to maintain my little "problem" in a long-term way. After doing some research, I've come up with several options ranging from the very severe to the very lax:

I submit to a Vinculum to someone more powerful than me. Someone that I can't easily manipulate, who can dole out a daily, controlled, measured dose of their vitae to me (like a methadone clinic) so I get the same amount every day and never allow my body to need more and more. Someone who can keep me on a very short leash so I'm not tempted to cheat. The very worst case (and ironic) scenario would be if I were assigned to a Lancea Santum member, and possibly required to submit to their cleansing rituals, or perhaps even required to join the LS and find God... Like I said, this would be a very severe way to go.
I submit to an Invictus Blood Oath like "Blood Tell" or "Blood Knives". Blood Tell would show immediately if I had broken my promise to never take vitae again. Blood Knives would turn my blood to sharp shards and begin to kill me if I ever broke my promise. So either one would give my mentor some peace of mind that she had me under control and could trust me. Though I'm just not sure if these Oath incentives are strong enough to keep me from my liquid master. And then there is the problem that in order to take these Oaths, you must be a member of the Invictus, and right now my mentor is not too crazy about sponsoring me due to my addiction. Sort of a Catch-22.
I find a Kallisti Kindred with knowledge of the Animus discipline. This power is able to take my addiction and turn it 180 degrees so I completely hate vitae and will rally against addiction like a preacher. It's a good, simple, seemingly flawless solution except that Kallisti with this discipline are very rare. And I don't know how long the effect lasts.
I agree to attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings in New Orleans several times a week. It works for the humans, right? How hard can it "really" be to get over an addiction??
ha ha ha Even "I'm" not buying this one...

If none of these work, it's already been suggested to me that I'll simply be chained and staked to relieve me of my problem; a 25 year sentence of torpor will purify my blood enough to make my addiction manageable again. So if I have to take a torpor nap, I wonder what everyone else will be doing in 25 years?

Becky Lynn?
Still begging Daddy for favors? Still trying to get down Vidal's pants??

Louis?
King of the world? More like CEO of his own Fortune 500, with enough ghouls and thralls to wait on him hand and foot. I bet he never leaves his haven again to find a meal... Can vampires become obese? I can't shake the image of Jabba the Hutt for some reason...

Jack?
That's a hard one. He's either Newsweek's "Man of the Year" for cleaning up Storyville single-handed, or he's been left in a ditch for the sun to find, after a gang finally got tired of being harassed by him and ran him through with lead like a piece of Swiss cheese... Anyone taking bets? Jack McCandless; The world's most annoying vampire... ::sigh::

Fear and Loathing in New Orleans Pt. 3

2009-01-07T11:18:00.000-08:00

After diablerizing my sire, life began to change for me. At that point, I'd dabble in the dangerous game of enjoying vitae more than I should, and consuming Luca's worthless soul put me over the edge. Almost to the point of no return. I was only one step away from completely losing myself to addiction.

I began to obsess about vitae. It wasn't running my life, but it was certainly changing my life and altering my relations with my coterie. Things we should have been doing as a group, I could care less about. People I should have been respecting, I dangerously disrespected -- without a second thought to my safety or the well-being of my friends. I cared about Tina, but I couldn't work myself up to care much about anyone or anything else. Save my new liquid friend.

So as to what happened to our group in the past couple months, I can only give you brief snap shots here and there. If the rest of the coterie is interested, they'll provide more details on the entire adventure.

In a group effort to hunt down Sarah Cobbler -- the bitch who orchestrated this whole mess, we've come across various pieces of information and learned many valuable lessons:

• Werewolves are bad. Vampires are mostly ill-equipped to handle them.

• Becky Lynn is hopelessly in love with her sire, John Matheson, no matter what she tells you.

• Becky Lynn is hopelessly in love with Prince Vidal, no matter what she tells you.

• Becky Lynn is hopelessly in love with any piece of male ass that demonstrates power, can prove a six figure income, is at least a 6, but most importantly, tells her "no". The "no" thing is irresistible to her. Again, no matter what she tells you.

• The Illustrious Prince Vidal must sleep soon. Not sure where I heard that but I'm hoping and praying. Dreams can come true, can't they?

• Sarah Cobbler infected New Orleans with her very special N.O.S. virus. She's a crafty one. I've been trying to send her a gift basket with my compliments, but nobody can provide me with her address.

• Cheating the IRS with a fake, charitable organization is not only fun but profitable!

• The Lancea Sanctum like to ambush their guests and put them on the spot in order to strong-arm them into joining their little "Mickey Mouse" club. Not cool. Also, they don't like it when people stand up in the middle of their ceremonies and call them to the carpet.

• Making a thrall is not only easy, fun and profitable, it leads to great feeding and great sex.

• Jack is a megalomaniac who thinks he can save the world one hooker and gang banger at a time. Does that qualify as "Mekhet-y"?

• Louis will rule the world someday, but he's so damn sneaky about it, no one will see it coming. I don't like to be prejudiced, but he's about as Ventrue as they come.

• I didn't do it. It was like that when I got here, man.

Fear and Loathing in New Orleans Pt. 2

2009-01-04T21:52:00.000-08:00

So now Tina is Dead Tina. Which technically sounds pretty bad, but after getting over the small inconveniences of actually being dead, I'm finding this Unlife stuff is not too bad. Sure – it's come with it's drawbacks; existing on a blood diet only, avoiding sunlight entirely, never breaching the masquerade to humans, etc. But not too bad, overall. I've decided to sever ties with my mom and step dad though. Keeping a relationship with my human family seemed like a burden I just didn't need. Becky Lynn, on the other hand, is trying to keep it together with her family, but I'm watching it unravel before our very eyes and it's not looking good for the home-girl...

"Why aren't you eating, Becky Lynn?"
"Why can't you come over in the morning, Becky Lynn?"
"Why can't you go on vacation with Daddy and me to the French Riviera, Becky Lynn? We do it every year!"

I just don't need that crap from my mother. Our relationship was hard enough. Plus I'm not trying to milk her for a trust fund like Princess Becky is, so severing ties was much easier. I just stopped calling back. I mean, in 50 or 60 years they'll all be dead anyway, so what's the point?

I dropped out of school too. That sucked, but seriously – in 200 years, am I going to care if I majored in Sports Medicine or not? We've found we've had to be a bit more creative as far getting the money to put a shelter over our heads and "necessities" in our hands, but it turns out that Vampires are pretty crafty at all types of fraud, so I'm spreading my wings and sharpening my skills in ways I'd never dreamed I would.

As newly-created Kindred, we discovered keeping a "retainer" is all the rage. It's sort of complicated, but basically you choose a human and create a bond with your blood. There are different possible degrees to the bond, but the idea is the person is absolutely loyal to you, willing to protect you at all costs and helps to maintain your lifestyle.

Peter is my new retainer. I met him in an upscale, white-collar bar uptown. He was with his fiancee and some business partners. Despite the crowd he was in, he presented himself as a target to me immediately – I guess we just clicked. It wasn't long before I'd convinced him to make a 20K contribution to our "charity" and not much longer before I had him thralled and Becky Lynn and I were moved into his downtown penthouse suite. This guy is loaded. I took over his Merc SLK Kompressor, but he has a Nobel on order for me. Besides the shelter and financial security he provides, he's just a caring, nurturing guy. He makes sure our rooms are secure and protected from all sunlight, and guards us fearlessly during the day. Plus it's always convenient to have a meal ready to go when you are.

It's really nice owning a pet.

Fear and Loathing in New Orleans Pt. 1

2009-01-04T17:02:00.000-08:00

So much has happened in the past three months, it's easy to get off track. But I'm going to try to get back to how all this began. An unbelievable story. Sometimes I don't even believe it myself, but then I look into the mirror, and there is no Tina looking back. And then I know it's all too real...

So, back at Dee Dee's; Mardi Gras. My girlfriends from school had abandoned me, but I had made some new friends and we ended up there. It was actually a pretty cool night – I'd caught a great buzz, and the energy of the crowds down here during Mardi Gras must be experienced to be appreciated. But somewhere along the way, I'd picked up a stalker. He wasn't totally bad looking. Tall, blond and very skinny. He had that uber-thin Iggy Pop thing going for him, which I can't resist. But there was something about him that was also utterly repulsive. He was menacing and threatening, and he kept appearing out of nowhere. Each time I saw him, I had the overwhelming feeling I was going to die. The fact that he was doing the sign-language gesture for "slit throat" didn't exactly help. Little did I know this insane stalker would end up being Lucas Gates, my Kindred sire.

Things get fuzzy after that. It turns out Sarah Cobbler, another powerful Kindred, had hired five vampires to abduct and sire us that night. Then she erased our memories, so we wouldn't remember who our sires were or anything about her little "experiment". Unfortunately, I was able to get back the worst parts of my memory. The last few, precious moments I had as a human, spent in sheer terror...

We had pulled up to the park, and it was completely dark, save the weak orange glow of a streetlight a distance away. I was in a van, by myself, and Lucas Gates was beckoning me to come out. I knew he was about to kill me. I knew he was. I was so scared, I couldn't scream. My body and muscles were frozen and nothing would come out. I couldn't breath and I could barely see. Don't pass out, please don't pass out. Now he had lost his patience and came part way into the van to grab my arm and physically pull me out. Then I was able to focus on him. On his eyes. There must be something in there. In that monster. "Please. Please don't." My begging was like foreplay to him. A huge, satisfied grin danced across his face; I think he had been worried he wasn't going to enjoy this, now he realized I was going to oblige him. He drew out a knife and snickered the word "Out" as he pulled harder on my arm.

Finally I was getting over the initial shock and trying to help myself. I braced my legs against the door to block his attempts at my removal and tried one more time "Please. Please – don't. Don't kill me. Please." What an idiot I was. I should have just fought harder. I should have screamed. Instead I think I nearly got him off. But when I saw that my pleading was, indeed, not working at all, I did begin to struggle harder. With a disappointed sigh, he began to beat me in ernest. After a few stabs of his knife and a considerable loss of blood, it was game-over for me, as far as I knew. A most anticlammatical way to end a life, if you ask me.

The next evening I awoke in the same park with a thirst I'd never experienced before. Like I'd just run a 15K at noon in the middle of August. I dragged myself over to the water fountain for a drink and immediately threw up all the water I ingested. And still the thirst raged on. There were several other people standing near me in the park that seemed as lost as I was. Becky Lynn, Louis and Jack; all of us had been turned against our will and left to face this unlife without much guidance at all. It was going to be a long Requiem.

Everyone Loves a Happy Ending
We caught up with that bastard Lucas Gates about a month ago, and with the Prince's blessing, and the support of my coterie, I diablerized his ass and sent him to Hell. Nothing I've ever done, be it in life or unlife, has ever been so sweet. And no negative aspect of Diablery would make me rethink my action that night and change it if I had to do it over again.

Rot in Peace, Lucas

Profile of a really sick f@#*

2009-01-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

Ummm... Have you guys checked out the Vampire Master's profile?

I can't believe we let that guy sit in the same room with us and manipulate our lives. I'm scared.

If Nikki Sixx can do it, so can I

2009-01-03T15:55:00.000-08:00

Vitae addiction is nothing to fool around with.

While I was attending the U of TN, I wasn't exactly an angel. We pretty much had any recreational substance we wanted within snorting or smoking distance. But I always stayed away from the hard stuff, like smack. Who needs the headache? I read The Heroin Diaries.

But since coming to this hell-hole, wonderland of blood highs, I've had a non-stop queue of Kindred in my face pushing me to drink their red stuff. Almost like they were dealers looking to get me hooked or something. How was I to know it was so f-ing addictive? Did anyone tell me? No. I mean, my bastard of a sire beat the crap out of me and left me. He never bothered to inform me of any Vampire 101s.

At first it was all fun and games. The high you get from taking on another Kindred's vitae is absolutely phenomenal. Mind blowing. Delirious. Overwhelming. Sickening. Probably a lot like smack when it comes down to it. Problem is, you need more and more as you chase the dragon. You lose the delicious high, and you simply need it or your body comes unglued.

And then I find out I can't get out of this. Ever. There are no methadone clinics. No 12 step programs for Kindred. I can go into torpor for 25 years to sleep it off, but the chances of me giving into the addiction again are always good. Not only that, but I've become a target within my own kind. Apparently, Kindred don't like vitae addicts. Eventually they become diablerists, and nobody likes a vampire-killing vampire hanging around. Makes everybody nervous for some reason.

So I need a plan. And fast. I've already resorted to feeding on myself to stave off the unfathomable cravings of the addict I've become. But I don't know how much longer I can keep it together. I read last month that Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, an infamous heroine addict that has died once or twice has actually made it to his 50th birthday and remains clean. A total miracle. I figure, if Nikki had a chance in hell, so do I...

MY new car!!

2009-01-02T09:11:00.000-08:00

Apparently Louis is trying to make me lose my patience by jumping ahead of our little story. The car he's referring to is actually MY new car – the one I'm coercing my new thrall to buy me. A Noble! Cute, huh? It should be arriving any day, and not a moment too soon. I'm so sick of driving his Mercedes SLK Kompressor around... I mean, really. Who drives those crappy cougar-mobiles anymore anyway?

Poor Louis. No thrall to buy him a cute car. Or to keep him sated at night...

Mardi Gras.....again

2009-01-01T23:59:00.000-08:00

*Sigh* You know... it was fun at first, watching the drunken idiots...the bar fights...real girls all over the place. I mean dont get me wrong, some of these girls are really freaking hot, but the frat house assholes can all go to hell. If only I had my plasma cannon and a handfull of frag grenades I swear to god I could take them all out. Couple more nights and all these loosers will go home and the city will be back to normal...well...as normal as it gets.

Let Loose in New Orleans

2009-01-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

This has been so f-ing unbelievable! Mardi Gras, finally! After so many years of living so close (Tennessee) and having my incredibly over-protective parents deny me the pleasure... well, not this year. I hit up a couple girlfriends (one with a car) and we left school to drive down here over the weekend. So awesome! One non-stop, ragin' party.

Of course, those losers started wimping out yesterday at some point. Drank too much or something. But I met some new people (easy to do here) and we're meeting up at Dee Dee's tonight. Right on. Can't wait.