Conquered and Subjugated

A note I asked Darius to give to Pearl several hours
before we leave for the Elysium.

Why do you keep me at arm’s length? You know I can’t take it. I’ll never survive this. I freely gave you my very heart and soul and all my love and devotion in return for your bond. You know I’m completely yours. Now, and for all nights to come. So why do you repeatedly deny feeding me the very thing that will nourish, sustain, and thrill my being? All I need in this world is your life-blood.

I hate you. I hate myself. I love you more than anything, but I hate what I’ve been reduced to. I hate wanting it, even as I love it and want more.

As ever, I’m consumed with thoughts of the sweet sting of your Vitae; the way it burns my lips and throat and seers my veins like a plague. When I drink from you, for one agonizing, heavenly moment I am closer to you than a lover. I am you. I am alive.

I’m raped by your Vitae and left a hapless casualty on the edge of ecstasy. But it’s always gone before I’m ever satisfied. Just a little more... I always need just a little more...

This must amuse you so: to hold all the cards, to call all the shots, to wield all the power. For I would do anything for your love, and for what lies just below your beautiful, porcelain skin. Just having you near makes me lose my senses, forget my name and sink to my knees in a pathetic mixture of hope and despair. The dream you might offer your arm to me (maybe this time?) and score it with a beautifully manicured nail until the dark, viscus liquid fights its way to the surface to find its new host keeps me perpetually thirsty and semi-conscious during days. If only this time you’ll stop and indulge my thirst. Quench my hunger for your love.

Please don’t make me beg. Please. You’ve already conquered and subjugated me like a rebellious subject. I’ve willingly bended the knee and sworn my fealty (which, I’d happily do formally at your pleasure) – Just, don’t make me beg to share what already bonds us together. What brought us together. I need to share your life to continue mine. I’m so in love with you.

Pearl, I need you.

Your most devoted servant,




(PS: Darius lent me some markers and stationary.
I hope that was OK)